sa mga writing major sablay to... pero mas mganda pag orig sa damdamin...

I used to be head-over-heels in love with my best friend. She is not pretty as some people said but she was the prettiest girl for me. I was actually not sure of what I was feeling for her, but depending on what I was hearing about love it was not hard to conclude that I was in love.

The typical mushy-corny stuffs happened to me like by just hearing her voice call my name got me out of my league. It was not hard to say that I love her, as easy as saying that we were not meant for each other. I often get signals from her that she liked me too but it was hard to assume because we were friends. People called me insane for being crazy about her but there was an unknown urge in me that still wanted to continue on loving her despite the unconscious realization that i was going nowhere. I hated her for a lot of reasons, but I was always just one text away and I was just one call away.

One day I was cursing my feelings for her then the other day I was thrown again in a different dimension whenever she said sorry. One touch eased all the anger away. Being with her meant paradise for me, a paradise where only she and I exist. I was her puppet, I was sure. She often used my name to something good for her. It was hard to be mad when you were in love. I swallowed every bit of my pride for her. She made me look like a fool. She made me become a better man, but she also made me forget the essence of being one. She made me wake the monster that lies beneath my soul. I hated her.

I knew I hated her until my mobile phone beeped. I found her name on my message list. It was clear in my mind how the message was written, “143.” I knew it from the very beginning. She loved me too but just too shy to admit it. She was just afraid to swallow her pride that after decades of running away from me she had already fallen prey on her own trick. I knew it. It was the best feeling I have felt for years of being her captive. I texted her back clarifying what was the meaning of her text. Lots of messages flooded my phone. I received “I” several times then plenty of “I 4 u”. It was a dark day, but suddenly the sun seemed to shine brightly. Another flood of messages filled my message box. I was very excited to open it. I rolled and rolled all over my bed, threw my pillows away and kept on smiling to myself. I remembered the message. I opened it and read it expecting of something good. I read it. “I hate you.” It was followed by texts of laughter. Great. We fought.

Time passed and she communicated with me again. I hate myself for still accepting the friendship she was offering. My mind did not want her anymore and I did not know what made me accept her again. She asked me if she could go to my house. I was alone in our house that day so I said why not. That day was ordinary but when I received her text saying that she was already near my house, it suddenly turned extra-ordinary. I moved fast to take away all the mess my eyes could reach and opened the CD player to play the most romantic song of my play list, for all of my life. I also quickly cleaned my face and brushed my teeth. She arrived. I waited for her to notice the setting but there was no attention paid to what I had prepared. We ended talking about what was new about our love life, if there was any. I said I have none; she talked. Every word she said tore me into pieces. My head was spinning but I tried my best to keep my cool. She crunched everything I am. I was totally broken. I wanted to faint. I wanted to just disappear. I wanted to fade into thin air.

My ears wanted to refuse listening about how much she was in love and how much the guy was making a fool out of her. The girl whom I offered my all was being played. The girl who just played with me is now the victim of mortifying game of love. Great. I heard the play list playing evil clown.