I think the title caught you off-guard. Yeah, the title fits this blog. This is my first entry on my new blog spot. And why would I not make it first? I have all the reasons.
I will be direct, its my father I am referring to. I love him dearly, of course but I never showed him how much. It is because we have a thick wall between us that hinders us from talking and sharing experiences like the typical father and son. He knows only a few things about me, I believe. I know few about him, too.
There are times when I want to start a conversation with him, but I was so afraid. I really do not know actually if I am afraid, embarrassed, or whatever, It is just that I cannot reach him. Maybe it is the wall that stops us from being one.
I know he cares and he loves me so much. Well, that out of doubt because he is my father. I can see and feel that through simple or big things for me. He fights my battle, talks to me sensibly, and even cooks my favorite dishes. He knows exactly what are my favorites. He even buys me cds and dvds of my favorite music.
As I write this, I start to feel bad. What if the wall is just created by me?
We never had the men bond. I really do not know. Not that I never tried talking to him, of course I did. I feel rejected at times, though. I was sensitive, I guess.
I envy sons who share a wonderful bond with their fathers. I know time is running and I might loose the chance of being my father's friend. Still, there is something I cannot name that is stopping me.
No comments:
Post a Comment